I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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