My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
