Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
