is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I won the penis lottery.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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