i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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