I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
