Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
