i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
