whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
