sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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