Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
