what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
