when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
