what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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