How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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