He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
