so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
