mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
