Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
