I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
