Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
