is your mom at the bar?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
