actually, I'm a sock model
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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