yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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