then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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