is your mom at the bar?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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