I got chris browned last night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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