wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
