Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
