I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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