That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
