Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
