your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
