Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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