note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
