..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
