That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
