Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
