some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
