"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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