Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
