I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
