Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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