it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
handjob tips. give me some.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
