I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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