She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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