i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Actions speak louder than pants.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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