I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
