So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
