awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
